it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face