Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So much puke
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth