walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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