Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed