Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
