Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize