is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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