Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
