Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
