Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
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Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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