he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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