wat bout pragnant strippers??
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This baby is an asshole
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
