I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
