C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
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Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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