I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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