Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
