but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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