At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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