You just made me feel so damn special
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
