what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
