guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize