We won't sleep together?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
