I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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