She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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