Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
