hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
