i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
