i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
