at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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