I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
