I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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