using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
