You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
