Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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