For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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