Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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