I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
