you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
