You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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