Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
