I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
