Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
