what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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