My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
