I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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