I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
