I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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