Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
