The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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