My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
