I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
