you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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