hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
