mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
