I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
