my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
