If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
