Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
