google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
