I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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