the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
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You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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