Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
